I started this blog for two specific reasons. 1) Was to use it as an outlet to talk about my application process for Ireland, and eventually, hopefully, about my feelings about going once I’m accepted…if I’m accepted. 2) Was to use it as a place to talk about what it means to be “seeking”, hopefully pointing to the fact I believe that Christ is the only solution. I feel like I have gotten away from those two goals by this point. Now, granted, I’m not very far along in the Ireland application – I haven’t even turned it in yet. And of course there turn out to be other things that I just want to talk about that have no relation to one this or the other, but I feel that goal #2 is very important, and I need to get back to it, by talking a bit about where I am now.
Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God
Seeking. It’s such a loaded term really, for one that is so simple. Praise Jesus that I have found Him, or more importantly that He has found me. Because that’s really what the Bible says. God sought US out. He has given us the choice to come to Him, but His desire is that all mankind would. He reveals Himself to us in so many ways. God Seeks Us. I cannot get over that. It is such a powerful thing. Jesus tells a parable about a Shepperd who goes out to seek for one lost sheep, leaving the other 99 sheep behind. The Lord is my Shepperd. He sought me out. He cared for me enough to look for me alone. And He found me! Hallelujah, what a Savior.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love;
So herein lies the essential question: if the God who created the Universe (I know I use this phrase a lot, but having taken Astronomy courses, it is something that is hard for me to fathom. I am so small and insignificant compared to the majesty of what the Lord created and yet He still cares) sought me out above all others…why do I continue to wander away from Him? It happens too often for me to even care to think about. I lose focus on what it means to be a Christian. I don’t share the Amazing News of Christ Jesus with those who don’t know, I depend on myself more than I depend on Him, I don’t always come to Him in bad times or good, I lose faith, I doubt, I despair. I allow Satan too often to lie to me, letting me believe that I am not good enough, that I am not loved. But here’s the kicker – why should it matter if I’m unloved by any human on earth (true or otherwise) – I AM LOVED BY GOD! Can I just repeat that? I, REBECCA, AM LOVED BY GOD I don’t have to do anything to earn that love from Him, because He sought me. He loved me before I was. From His laying the foundations of the earth, He knew me and loved me. But I forget this, I forget that He seeks me, and I forget to seek Him.
He, to rescue me from danger, interposed His precious blood.
He sought me and he bought me. Jesus died for me and my sins, they He nailed them to the cross and I bear them no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Oh My Soul!!!! I know I’m quoting a lot of hymns here, but next to scripture, I find that they speak the most truth about what is in my heart. This is the true heart of the Gospel. We have to do nothing for His saving grace, but accept it. That is what it is called grace. We do not deserve it, but He has given us this gift to accept. And by accepting it, I have chosen to follow Him, it is not the easy life – but it is worth it.
Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing Thy grace
I have had hard times, my family has experienced what no family should and we still deal with this every single day. But God has given me blessings too – I have parents who have raised me to make wise decisions and to follow the Lord, and most importantly support whatever I do. I have a brother whom I love. I have family connections with “distant” relatives that is closer than most. I have friends who I know that I can count on. I am stable. God has given me so much, and I take so much for granted. These joys should be reminders to me that God has sought me and wants to bless me. I so often forget this, but that is a sin I confess, but he forgave me for that sin before I even commited it. When I gave my heart to Him, every sin I had committed in the past and that I would commit in the future was laid on the shoulders of Christ – Let that grace now like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee.
